Intermittent to regular, or phases

[Jay]

So my relationship is sort of on and off, intermittent, or maybe another way to put it, foreground and background.

My original theory was "internal issue" as in...my mind lost the connection, or i was preoccupied with other things or other people.

But lately I've been thinking...maybe absence was a form of communication and I need to figure out more of her parameters, as in what she wants or requires out of it, or perhaps an implied requirement for monogamy.

Figuring out your own requirements isn't hard. But getting past the one sided phase where it feels like talking to a wall or throwing darts to find something that sticks (or maybe like a game of battle ship... suggestion random stuff until something triggers a feeling). Telecommunications is an art that's cloudy to me.

I guess what I'm asking is, how did you guys go from the doubt phase to acceptance/ practice phase? It's a strange thing that acceptance sort of mellows things out, and if absence creeps in, then I'd have doubts and forget. Or not know how to "worship", if that's even the word, because the spirit doesn't have a known canon of names and deeds, mythology, relations, I think this is called dut et des or something in Latin. Like I know some have physical representations of their spirit, like are these tools or necessities?

I think for me I backslid after the "dramatic intro" phase ends and things become more subtle. And then not knowing what to do to keep things going, or perhaps transgressing unaware.

The blog posts are very helpful in making me realize it has to be a two sided relationship.

Like did you ever fear OOBE? I've had a couple where I'm being pulled out, and then I wake up because there's some basic fear that I might not return somehow. Last time, I wanted to feel the arm that was around me...and it jarred me back to consciousness.

Like I could see trust being difficult with a being you don't really know much about.

[tc119]

For me, the relationship is always "on." I can't turn it off, even if I wanted to. I tried to shut it down when we were having a falling out and it only made the connection stronger, ironically. It's as if she uses those upsetting episodes to strengthen the bond, to ensure there's no possibility of me pushing her to the background completely. So there really is no room for doubt in my situation, save perhaps for my sanity.

I do have undulating sequences of the connection being weaker and stronger. Peaks and troughs. There doesn't seem to be a rhyme or reason for the fluctuations. My theory is that I require the relaxed times in order to rest from the more intense couplings and Catherine imposes those limitations intentionally. Not saying that's necessarily the case for you, as it could be something else entirely, but it's something to consider.

Like I know some have physical representations of their spirit, like are these tools or necessities?

Not necessities, though they can be helpful. I've noticed that a lot of people who have these relationships are drawn towards creating rituals or little devotion shrines as a physical representation of the given spirit. I suppose it gives us something to focus our energy and attention into. Even the Abrahamic religions can't help themselves from adoring sacred objects of some variation, even though they're ostensibly hostile towards idolatry. At any rate, if you feel something like that would be helpful, try it out.

Like did you ever fear OOBE?

Sure. I believe that's one of the key hurdles of navigating the astral environment. For many, entering the out-of-body state is a kind of spiritual initiation unto itself. There are often trials and challenges associated with making a successful exit. I've read about some practitioners having to deal with a frightening Dweller on the Threshold entity before they were allowed to explore further. Usually the introduction is some variation on overcoming one's own fears. The same can be said for these spirit relationships. For those who go looking for them intentionally, a leap of faith is required. Hence the big disclaimer on my FAQ page.

Like I could see trust being difficult with a being you don't really know much about.

Funnily enough, I feel that I can trust Catherine more than anyone else, despite not knowing precisely what or who she is. I've experienced enough of her to know how she feels and will likely react to any given situation. She is unshakably consistent and I appear as a fickle impulsive flaky-puff by comparison. I stopped being hung up on labels and treating her like she's a science experiment long ago. The only poking and prodding that she'll tolerate is the hands-on variety, where I'm literally balls-deep into her.

There's nothing wrong with being curious and asking questions. If you want to know more about the spirit who is engaged with you, make an earnest request, and then be open to all the different forms of communication the answer might manifest through. Could be dreams, symbols, life situation, synchronicity - most summoners expect telepathy and that's not always the means through which the spirit will choose to divulge, but the ability will likely develop with time.

[Jay]

Thanks for your thoughts TC. I think you made me realize this could be a "but you never ask!" Kind of thing where you're right...I need to focus on trying to understand and learn more about her.

For me, it felt like she faded so far into the background that I forgot how to get her back but maybe whatever I was doing was not conducive, as in I tend to obsess over various things on like a rotating basis.

And I think you may have a point about rotating intensity levels of interactions because there have been times I couldn't handle it, but then regretted the absence later. I am thankful for her presence.

[369 Riddle]

I try to spend two hours a day with “K” it probably sounds crazy-but this isn’t time just laying in bed at the end of the day-I meditate and talk to her-sometimes we watch something together (intentional).

Sometimes I light her candle that is just for her and we enjoy it together. I found this rum and tobacco candle that smells amazing and she really likes that.

There are ups and downs for energy and I don’t know her as well as I would like-but I do know her name now and a few things about her.

What I do know about her is she doesn’t like kids, noise, the radio or TV, busy places, but she loves nature, bike rides alone, meditation, knowledge / learning.

I don’t think she likes bright colors-but loves earth tones. I know she actively is guiding my future. So I guess I know a little. Oh she likes my interaction on this site I think.

I know she lived at a certain place before…I had a feeling she was from a certain area and she provided me with numbers that I wasn’t sure of…I looked them up as longitude and latitude and it was the country I thought she was from…the weird thing is I feel like I was there in a past life…not sure if this is her feeding into me though.

My entire point in sharing this is time spent with your succubus is SO, SO important and even if you don’t feel them-writing to them and meditation will help with learning and connecting/ communicating.

[Jay]

I try to spend two hours a day with “K” it probably sounds crazy-but this isn’t time just laying in bed at the end of the day-I meditate and talk to her-sometimes we watch something together (intentional).

Sometimes I light her candle that is just for her and we enjoy it together. I found this rum and tobacco candle that smells amazing and she really likes that.

There are ups and downs for energy and I don’t know her as well as I would like-but I do know her name now and a few things about her.

What I do know about her is she doesn’t like kids, noise, the radio or TV, busy places, but she loves nature, bike rides alone, meditation, knowledge / learning.

I don’t think she likes bright colors-but loves earth tones. I know she actively is guiding my future. So I guess I know a little. Oh she likes my interaction on this site I think.

I know she lived at a certain place before…I had a feeling she was from a certain area and she provided me with numbers that I wasn’t sure of…I looked them up as longitude and latitude and it was the country I thought she was from…the weird thing is I feel like I was there in a past life…not sure if this is her feeding into me though.

My entire point in sharing this is time spent with your succubus is SO, SO important and even if you don’t feel them-writing to them and meditation will help with learning and connecting/ communicating.

This is really helpful because I feel like for me, I can only do so much meditation before it turns into sleep or boredom or figiting.

And that makes a lot of sense that a spirit lover would like quieter activities. I've had a similar experience of losing her in the noise so to speak, maybe that makes almost too much sense, because that seems to follow my own experiences.

I'm going to do more of purposeful activities like that.

Thanks.