Daemon Grotto

Good to know, thank you. I think my brain is getting a bit scrambled because I'm feeling more self-conscious as this goes on. Here's entry #3
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A visit to the creek the following day left me with the sensation that someone was gently holding onto my hand. The feeling was very strong, and rather nice. I've been getting some mental images of the woman from my dreams, holding or hanging onto me. Like she'll wrap herself around me and ride weightlessly on my back sometimes. Not 100% sure that I'm not imagining things. I get lots of pulling or twisting sensations centered on my forehead at night. I feel like she constantly sends me a mental message to control or regulate my breathing. I get the impression that she has two funky-shaped little things on her head. I thought they were horns, succubi-style, but I got the impression once that they're like bird wings which ruffle out from her head.

Entry #4
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I had a bad dream with her last night (12/28/21), she was being chaotic and aggressive. There was this other male character who was sort of watching me in the dream, and she knew who or what he was, or had contact with him. I got a very bad feeling from him, and she was much more nasty and chaotic when he came nearby. I'm very confused as to what this means. She seemed angry with me. I don't want to have to banish my very first spirit-friend/lover, but I will if things prove to be harmful to me. I woke up with a terrible headache and feeling very sick. I had made an offering to her before I had gone to bed. I gave her bread and honey. I know that she likes honey. But I put red coral on the altar as well, which is supposed to banish evil spirits. I don't really know what happened or how to move forward. More time and thought is needed, I suppose.

I've also recently discovered telesmatic images from Tyson's book (Sexual Alchemy). I feel like I've been interested in making a small altar figure for years now, and that I've been experimenting with making offerings, especially with water and fire. Tethys (the mosaic above) is a freshwater titaness, and has been a subject of (non-sexual) interest for me for some years. I think this connection, if there truly is one, between water spirits and myself has been long-standing rather than recent. It would not surprise me at all if Eddy has been attached to me in some way, since I was very young, or perhaps for my entire life. I have nothing to support this directly, it's just a feeling that I have. Another tarot reading about Eddy basically just told me to focus on fixing the rest of my life, saying that a loving and fulfilling relationship is waiting for me. The 'Way to Resolution' card was the Princess of Cups, and even looked like her as she appeared in the dream, with her pale skin, sharp jawline, and fiery red hair. So, that's my plan.

I'm also having the realization that Eddy might have been protecting me in the dream from the other male character, but I'm not sure. I'm still in the 'hoping I'm not imagining all of this' stage. I think I know Eddy's real name now, but I'm not sure how I know or when exactly I found out. The name was just suddenly in my head, but I can't remember when exactly it started. Calling her Eddy feels weird now, but I will continue to do so as I want to keep the real name safe. I'm interested in analyzing her 'real' name to find out more about her.

So long as these bad dreams are not a consistent theme, you should be alright. If they become a disruptive problem in your life, there's probably an underlying issue that needs to be resolved and the nightmares are just a reflection of that. I believe the people who suffer from so-called demonic attacks and possession - if it's not mental illness - are simply attracting that kind of bad attention because there's a major imbalance that needs to be addressed in their lives; kind of like how disease will show up in our bodies in response to major stress or abuse. To a lesser degree, I think spirit lovers can act as that diabolical canary in the coal mine as well.

Hmmm, I'm not sure how I feel about this so far. I think I'll refrain from further opinions or judgment till we make it to the end of the journal, so I have as full a picture as possible.