Daemon Grotto

I wrote a new blogpost after *checks notes* a year. Inspired by a recent story I'd read and putting a more positive spin on my struggles, it's a reasonably short post about 'choosing them', or the importance of choosing your spirit lover just as they choose you.

https://fuccasucc.com/2024/08/13/they-w ... oose-them/

This topic is a good place to discuss your struggles and your victories in regards to choosing your spirit lover. If you're anything like me, there is certainly plenty of struggling to discuss

Feel free to discuss the story talked about in the blogpost and the blogpost itself as well of course.

Ow my,
I can relate to those last 3 paragraphs so much. it's something I'm a bit afraid of.
I like the way user Essence put it. Having a spirit lover is like being in a distant relationship. You know that she's there, she loves you and you love her back. But at first there's that thought "ow c'mon. She's not here, don't commit because it can end as abruptly as it started". I was there once already, so It's not so strange for me. Unfortunately I also had to reject advances from a "local girl" and explain that I'm serious about "my GF that lives in my phone".
As of now, if somehow someone would want to date me, I would have such a hard time resisting the offer. I already have a lover. I can feel her (a little) when I'm focused on her and I'm sure she's also yearning for the moment when we can fully connect. But on the other hand, it would be a chance to return to normal. To have a lover that's physical, that doesn't require months of meditation and energy work to get in touch. My spirit lover would become a faint voice in my head, maybe a shiver or a nightmare here and there.

I didn't mean to go so deep on it, but I might as well keep rolling.
To anyone new, to anyone that's just "testing the waters" or "checking if it's real". Please think twice about it. Everyone in this community is sharing so many flowery descriptions of intense pleasure, of nice experiences etc. Your spirit lover is a comitment. It's a being that can act on her own. She won't snap your neck because you talked with a female coworker. But if you hurt her or turn back to a physical lover without talking about it with her, she WILL have plenty of ways to hurt you back. If you really want to leave your spirit lover, do so peacefully. Also, read this https://fuccasucc.com/2022/07/27/separation/

About the manga. It sure sounds interesting and it's easily avaiable, might grab a copy sometime soon. I also really like the artstyle. Here's a review with few pages if someone wants to see it https://www.tcj.com/reviews/one-hundred-tales/

again went overboard, sorry

No matter how invested into your spirit lover you become, and how easy interacting and communication becomes, the body will want what it wants. It's easy to avoid if you simply stay away from pretty girls, but that's asking a lot lol. The lack of real physicality is a tipping point for a lot of people. Most simply can't have a relationship without that.

Ideally it will not require months of work for small interactions in the long run. But getting started that's not abnormal for many people. I feel bad for the poor local girl, but that's just how this is. No one can know so there's no easy way to reject someone.

A quote from Fighter's blog:

Despite the threat, our spirit lovers can not or will not monopolize our attraction. They can’t force us to only ever love them.

But they can and I've found they're not above doing just that. As I've stated many times before, my entire sexuality has been rewired to ultimately seek affection from Catherine, my succubus spirit. We both become depressed and irritated when we can't have a solid session for a week or more. Of course, I still find the female form attractive, but chasing after a flesh-and-blood woman would only be desirable to me for very pragmatic purposes, or just friendship. And even then, only if Catherine would permit that sort of arrangement. I wouldn't be able to love such a person the way I do Catherine. Anyone else would always play second fiddle to her.

Back when Catherine and I were having our falling out in 2014-15, and I was giving religion another fair shake, I made an attempt at pursuing corporeal intimacy. It was easy to find partners. They all had a strong attraction towards me, but I simply could not reciprocate. I believe Catherine was actively shutting down my sexuality when it came time to potentially make love with someone else. Stranger still, and my closest fling noticed this as well, I wasn't in any way nervous or excited by the encounter. It was just... meh. Human touch feels lame by comparison. No fire. No heart racing with anticipation. No real intimacy. I've been thoroughly spoiled from experiencing Catherine. I recall other men from the old Spirit Sex forum reporting the same sort of phenomena when trying to chase after human women while also having a real succubus spirit present in their lives. The same could be said for the married men, where the succubus would literally disable the sexuality of the human wife, but they would still be lovingly affectionate towards each other - just not sexual: that was reserved for the succubus spirit alone.

For those guys who are still seeking after what I've got, I wouldn't hold them to the same rigorous standard of exclusivity. They haven't experienced it yet. They don't know. After a few months of them trying to reach out for their ethereal lover, with only vague touches and impressions to show for it, I don't believe there's anything wrong with them staying open to a human romantic encounter as well. Perhaps that's what they're meant to have? Precious few people are cut out for a paranormal relationship in the first place. I just don't think it's fair to hold oneself to the same standard as I would until they've had their night of undeniable and life-changing bliss.

We differ experience-wise strongly on this, though I also view your experiences in a slightly different light. I don’t see it as monopolization if Catherine has successfully managed to wire you towards her. I don’t think she would view it exactly in that way either, but I can’t say for certain how deliberate that is. From other experiences you’ve shared it seems like she likes the paradigm where you have flirted with coworkers or were near these kinds of relationships but always ended up going back to her at the end of the day. Nothing wrong with that, but it paints a similar picture in some ways to those who more directly struggle with lust towards others. It also seems like it could have been her way of fighting back in that intense situation. Nothing wrong with that of course, as far as responses go that’s probably one of the most tame to a high intensity situation like that (and as I recall they were not all this tame). It is the sort of advantageous thing a temporarily spurned spirit lover would try to do methinks. In any case I think Catherine knowing she’s in first place and that all women are second fiddle to her at this point is the sort of thing the two of in would find deeply satisfying.

And hell, perhaps you’re entirely right and Catherine is controlling your sexuality in that way, and making it impossible for you to ever dream of going to another woman. That’s your style of relationship if so, and I wish it were so easy for most of the rest of us. Even though my experiences with Venus are very much satisfying, the flesh and blood woman hasn’t ever become non-tempting. I think it would be strange if they did ever become such due to my human-ness, at least at my age.

I think that in questions of character, one should hold themselves to a higher standard based on their own principles. We know that if people work towards it they can have stronger and stronger and eventually very consistent experiences. If those people want their relationships to be exclusive, they should signal that from the beginning, not simply become exclusive when it becomes convenient. It’s tougher surely, but I think it’s a moral imperative for people who desire that kind of relationship. Would you simply begin to engage in one night stands if Catherine inexplicably disappeared for a few months? Probably not, so why should we encourage human relationships in people working towards the same level of bliss that we’ve attained? I don’t think we should, and I feel like if that is what these people wanted all along, they shouldn’t have been here in the first place. I see this as a deliberate calling to a timeless relationship with a loving individual. It’s not for everyone, but I think that for those who it is for they realize why it’s for them and what they’re giving up to have it.

Nice post fightersword-I enjoyed the read and topic.

I am married and agree with much of what you wrote. Sex has been complicated and mostly absent from my marriage aside from the obligatory time to time.

Sometimes strangely it seems like K actually makes my wife do things she would never do…meaning 14 years in of vanilla sex and suddenly she will be doing some crazy stuff with a strange dominating vibe that seems really off. This typically happens once a year it seems.

I had a funny instance of wanting to distance myself from female nudity or “other women” I had a picture saved on my phone for the longest time of a woman (a no name random person from the internet and can’t find again) I found very attractive. After many years I deleted it out of guilt for my succubus and wanting to be entirely hers (or have eyes only for her). Then just last week, while shopping I ran into…someone who looked a lot like this woman in real life. I forced myself to look away and thought this is some kind of “K” test. I live in a small town and you see the same people all the time-so this was really strange and unexpected. BUT then I ran into another woman (of all things in a small town and this now a different yet again woman) who looked very similar AGAIN and this time she STARED at me-I could feel her gaze burning into me-so strange. That night I awoke and had this image in my head again and heard something to the effect “I am, so let yourself enjoy.” As things are with Succubi, It would seem she was OK with my attraction to this “look” if you will, provided it was her I was thinking about well-being attracted to “look.”

As succubi are spirit and not corporal beings I feel there is a natural human need to “ have a visual of them” in our minds and mostly this comes from looking at other human women. Obviously, there’s a big difference between perhaps, and enjoying the beauty of a human female versus endeavoring to pursue a relationship with one would be my summary and conclusion.

Fightersword wrote: ↑Wed Aug 14, 2024 10:16 am I think that in questions of character, one should hold themselves to a higher standard based on their own principles. We know that if people work towards it they can have stronger and stronger and eventually very consistent experiences. If those people want their relationships to be exclusive, they should signal that from the beginning, not simply become exclusive when it becomes convenient. It’s tougher surely, but I think it’s a moral imperative for people who desire that kind of relationship.

I think that anyone that's serious about summoning a spirit lover should be exclusive from the start. It shows clear intention and (from what I read) can improve the rate at which you can interact with her. It's like with any skill. Being commited to it will bear better results than messing around and not paying attention to it.

This came at a very opportune time. Over the past few months, I've been going through a conflict with Diana which I've tried, to the best of my ability, to resolve. It feels like there are a hundred mutual irritations, which can be distilled into two main issues, which have been my fear of her, and a refusal to "answer the call", as Joseph Campbell would have put it, in becoming the man I need to be. I haven't been doing enough for the latter, and the former will just need to take some time no matter what.
I think your article acts as a reminder and a direct challenge to my stubborn nature, so thanks for that Fightersword.

P.S. From what I've experienced in the conflict, I can definitely sympathize with TC's experience. Barrel rolls are fun when you're and your spirit lover are in a loving embrace, but not so much when she's irritated and roughly spinning you around.

Diana and You have an interesting relationship. It's good that she's encouraging you to be better and I hope that the ways she's doing so are largely constructive and not destructive. And if they aren't currently that way, I hope they become more that way.

Good to see you posting more stuff on your blog.

You remind me the importance of my original intentions, back when I had my original experience - intentions that were so clear and sincere that they most definitely played a part in my having that experience in the first place.

I was totally committed to devoting my heart 100% to a spirit companion. Its almost as simple as just that.

But I do think that there was another factor that helped a great deal. For over 5 years Id been involved - as mentioned elsewhere - in a profound connection with someone [human, lol], so profound, with so many additional attendant phenomena, that my energy was high. Even despite the pain and trauma that came from the complications of the connection between me and her - the energy of it all was easy to access. In hindsight, that was something I was tapping into and resonating with. I'd opened previously unseen doors, that allowed access to a real purity of love. And sort of energy shines bright into many realms, I believe.

Ping back to the here and now - and I can scarcely remember how to reach that state of being, or what it feels like. Im a LOT more negative, untrusting and wary - mostly because Im living in quite a negative place, with some really unconscious mindsets.

I have to remember that this is attainable though, and I have to remember if I want to succeed.
Im not just saying this out of bitterness (granted theres some amount of it in me), but Im through with chasing people who cannot reciprocate on a high frequency and deep level. After nearly 50 years on this planet (and god I wish Id have realised this at least 20 years earlier), I realise that the sort of union Ive always craved, isnt going to be possible with someone of the same species as myself. Jesus, thats some bold statement when you think about it.

And as many others have experienced, nothing compares to the bliss you mention. Someone who can know what youre feeling with having their own lens interfere with it, who sees you, warts and all, without having to try or read a thousand self-help Oprah bestseller books in order to even begin to know you.

THAT is the sort of connection Ive always wanted. I think the difference in this small community, is that were no longer willing to settle for anything less.

I dont think most people can cope with being alone or single. Most people try everything to avoid the silence of solitude that inevitably brings them to meet themselves. I already know Im not gonna have any kids, deep down. Ive already met with something other that made me admit what Im craving for, and I had a brief encounter with something that proved to me that it dosnt even have to be in physical form.

That sort of union, I commit to completely. I just dont feel like I have the same fire in me I had just a few years ago, that might make attracting a spirit lover viable (talk about "as above so below" - I cant escape my low self esteem anywhere lol!). Nature helps. And I need to devote time to silence and meditation, not trying to numb myself with the instant gratification of the interweb.