Hello everyone! 4chan SuccGen refugee here. I've been reading and researching this topic for about 2 years. I believe I had a spirit with me for a while, but I think that I have since lost her because I was not dedicating proper time and effort to connecting with her, and because she scared the hell out of me. Not flattering, but that's the truth.
I've read through nearly every succ-related blog or pdf that I can get my hands on, and I recognize a couple of you guys and your work. Very good stuff. I look to making a few small contributions to the knowledge-pot soon. When spirit-lady first came to me, I kept a journal that I've been wanting to share. So I'll likely drop that here.
I look forward to sharing and discussing stuff with all of you!
Hello SirenAnon and welcome. Feel free to start up your own thread in the general to share that journal.
I've found that having a bad initial experience can sometimes make it very difficult to get back into anything paranormal. The mind and body seemingly turtle-up. But on the other hand, going through an ordeal like that is often necessary for making any progress. This often happens when I ask Catherine to improve the connection between us, and when she does it feels like an overload. That can include scary encounters, too; mainly because encountering anything supernatural for the first time is often jarring.
Thanks fot the warm welcome! I've had a lot of scary paranormal stuff happen to me in my life, even from when I was only like 3 or 4 years old. I listened to an old lecture on YouTube by Manly P. Hall, and he said something along the lines of "Man is ever filled with dread, at the approach of spirit." I don't know exactly what he means by this, but I feel like it's true.
I hope I can find another spirit-love. I would prefer even if she just comes back, but for now, I'm content to just wait and learn more. I'll start up the journal threads soon. Didn't you write once that Catherine had departed for a while, and then she returned?
Snapped awake once at 3 am, with a feeling of a presence near me in the dark. Sent fear tingles through me. Then my phone slid off of a table on the other side of my room. I could hear it moving in the dark, and then the loud thump when it hit the floor. Landed right where I sensed the presence. I didn't have a pet at the time, table was stable and flat.
I've been woken up a few times feeling a huge constricted pressure in my chest and a feeling like I'm being squeezed and shaken by my shoulders. That's pretty horrifying, especially the overwhelming feeling of rage that comes with it. I have heard this called the 'pressing ghost'.
She, or well, something... once set off a motion light while I was lying perfectly still in meditation.
Really loud, warbling tinnitus late at night, panning from one ear to another like someone is moving the 'left - right' slider on a sound board.
Impressive stuff, but always very freaky. I would sometimes ask for a sign that she's there, and when I would get it, I would have to ask her to stop.
Sounds fairly overtly negative, especially since it continues to happen in ways that scare you. I'd assume if it were accidental they'd change tactics (as was my experience). But it's hard to say in totality without the wider context of events of course.
Thanks for the feedback. I had my suspicions as well, but I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if there were 2 spirits around me, as the way I was treated seemed so night and day. They/it seems to be gone now though and have been for a few months. In meditation I firmly directed out a thought saying "if you want to harm me, then you can't stay here". Everything pretty much stopped immediately except for the very occasional waking up to heavy chest and shoulder pressing sensation.
I'd probably sooner assume that that means the waking up experiences aren't related in this case, since everything else disappeared.
It's not entirely uncommon for someone with negative experiences to be reeled in with some positive stuff, even to the point it seems sort of bipolar. One of the most common defenses against a 'host' getting rid of a negative entity is for that entity to simply act in a way that keeps the host from trying to get rid of it. Often that's as simple as making you doubt your own conclusion enough to not do anything. We do the same thing with toxic friends, remembering the good over the bad and then choosing not to get rid of them, as one example.
I wish I understood what the pressing thing was. It's similar to the chest pressure people sometimes describe in sleep paralysis, except I'm not paralyzed. From everything that I've read, it doesn't seem good. I've been in a difficult spot in my life for a few years now, and I feel sometimes like I am putting off a bad 'vibe' that is aggravating things around me.
Great example with the toxic friends explanation, I feel like my brain was able to wrap around that nicely. Thank you.
Looking forward to hearing about your experiences.
Something I go by with the supernatural is you pull out of it what emotion you share with it (and often by mistake)t…so if I am scared during a ritual / calling or focus on anger I will get something that feeds off terror or rage. This has been my experience anyways and it takes enormous mindfulness. I think some people struggle with their first encounter because they freak out and then draw that energy out that is why I shared this…I too (like TC) feel that the first encounter can make the path difficult going on (mine has been).
Looking forward to reading your threads and welcome (also thanks to TC for such a rad site man).
“I am not in the dark-do not look for me there for what you will find shall be what you expect and it shall not be me.”-K
Feel free to start up your own thread in the general to share that journal. 
