Daemon Grotto

When I wrote this initially, I never put in specific dates. Everything is very general and relative, time-wise. This seems sort of dumb in retrospect, but that's what I've got.
Here's the first entry. I think this was written in Late October or November of 2021. Here it is with a bit of editing for clarity:
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Prayed for protection and attempted to make contact with a friendly water spirit. During my meditation, I was given a vision of a dark pool of water. It appeared to be in a cavern or underground. A female voice popped into my head and said, "How do you call this?", and on the still surface of the water, there formed a little circular swirl as if an unseen finger was swished through it. The word immediately popped into my mind, and I said "An Eddy."
This is how I referred to the spirit initially. Her nickname was Eddy.

A short, thin, pale woman with firey red hair appeared in my dreams a week or two later. She was not my type at all, but somehow very attractive to me anyway. She had a bearing that was noble but mischievous, and had a way of seeming somewhat mean but not hurtful. Like she was very forceful in word and action, but never caused any harm or gave off a feeling that she was actually being hostile. Her behavior felt more playful. It was quite pleasant being with her in the dream. I felt that we were in some sort of relationship together in the dream and we frequently were in a lakeside setting. It was one of thise dreams that feels like an entire weeks-worth of content. I felt like she was 100% trustworthy, which is something that I never feel about anyone. She introduced me to her parents in the dream and I felt so proud because they seemed to like me. Her dad was imposing bu eccentric. Her mother was wispy and mysterious, I can't remember much of her.There were lots of hopeful and pleasant 'new love' type feelings in this dream.

She removed her shirt and bra at the end of the dream. I think she was changing her clothes for whatever reason. She made me cover my eyes, but I snuck a peek at her. Under her top, her form was scrambled and confused. The impression that I got was that she didn't have a good idea of how the human body looked beneath clothing, so she manifested her body in a weird kind of way. She her shapely breasts, but with wildly displaced nipples. She was missing her bellybutton, her hip on one side started right at her ribcage almost. Her torso looked kind of twisted. I was shocked and kind of confused, but somehow wasn't that bothered. I think I understood that it was an illusion and that she was sort of trying her best. She caught me peeking. I woke up suddenly when she started laughing and whipping me over the head with the bra she had removed.

Sounds like a very chaotic person/experience in particular, though seemingly not a negative one going by the dreams.

Entry #2. I sincerely hope that this isn't too racy, I just wanted to be accurate and honest. It was a private journal at the time it was originally written, so I just faithfully recorded as much as I could at the time.
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A supposed druid who goes by the name of 'Ogham' on SuccGen told me that lady in the dream is a Siren. I described that she was not my type, but still attractive, along with chaotic, playfully antagonistic, but still trustworthy and caring. I don't know how the druid are so certain, but it seems worth a research.

According to Illes, from 'Encyclopedia of Spirits', sirens are female aquatic spirits which take on the features of birds. They are also associated with the number 8. Both of these things are significant to me because I love birds, and I was born on the 8th. I believe that I have received a few physical interactions with this spirit. An oracle card reading about the dream woman's motives came up with a blank card. I had no idea there was a blank card in the deck. A second reading essentially said, "You do not know as much as you think you know." This was a bit of a cause for concern as I feel like I know almost nothing. I have no verification that the dream character is indeed a Siren, or if Eddy is either of these. Furthermore, the physical entity could be a different one as well. (Note: I was experiencing strange touch sensations and feelings of a presence near me around this time
). I don't know what the spirit wants, who it really is, or why/when it chooses to be around me. Tried a pendulum reading, and the pendulum swung in the "don't know/ask again" pattern the entire time, which was both disheartening and strange. For scientifique purposes, I was blindfolded while I asked the questions because I didn't want biases to alter the results. The pendulum was video recorded from above and reviewed when the session was done. This situation seems highly resistant to divinatory probing.

I believe I experienced my first spirit-sex encounter a day or maybe a few days after the first dream. I laid to meditate on the couch during the day, and felt an immediate gentle presence. I felt a slight nudge to undress, so I did. I went from flaccid, to extremely erect in about 10 heartbeats. I began to feel out of breath, but it seemed she was continually telling me to try and relax and control my breathing. I did the best I could. Her touches crawled across my skin like warm, pleasant electricity, and her body was like a very arousing squeezing sensation gently moving up and down upon me. I got too aroused, lost concentration and the sensation of her, so I finished myself because I couldn't handle the pressure. Orgasm lasted roughly a minute and was very mild, but supremely satisfying, with electric sensations that rolled throughout my whole body from head to toe. No guilt, excessive tension or exhaustion during or after. As soon as I finished and relaxed a bit, I could feel her again, curled up on my chest now, seemingly reveling in my release. We napped together for about 20 minutes. It was beautiful, immediately within the top 3 sexual experiences that I've had in my life.

I'm always skeptical of 'readings' that produce very specific indications, and I'm skeptical of entity 'races' in general. They may have told you that based off what you told them, or may have just guessed, whether they think they guessed or not. Still, it could be a synchronicity at the least, but I don't think I'd take that information in a literal fashion. The pendulum use with a blindfold is very interesting, certainly a good way to ensure you're interpreting the correct answer. If using it for communication isn't producing answers, that's likely because the entity doesn't want to give them or doesn't understand the questions for whatever reason. Or just a botched attempt with the tool, though I'd normally assume the other two. The sexual experience seems quite typical of spirit lover experiences, so that's certainly a good sign at the very least.

It sounds to me like you may have something like an Undine, as the renaissance philosopher Paracelsus called them. The Greeks called them Nymphs, or water elemental spirits. It is said that they don't naturally have an immortal soul, but they are able to gain one by being wed to a human. That is a beautiful first-time experience that you described. I've found that they can keep up that pressure you felt indefinitely, but we almost always end up needing breaks. I know I do.

Fightersword wrote: ↑Thu Mar 02, 2023 10:22 pm I'm always skeptical of 'readings' that produce very specific indications, and I'm skeptical of entity 'races' in general....
If using it for communication isn't producing answers, that's likely because the entity doesn't want to give them or doesn't understand the questions for whatever reason.

She seems highly tight-lipped. Do you have a favorite method of getting your spirit ladies to convey information to you? I've had some astoundingly bad luck with divination for her, so I just mainly roll with dreams/trusting the impressions that I get in the moment.

tc119 wrote: ↑Sat Mar 04, 2023 6:35 am It sounds to me like you may have something like an Undine, as the renaissance philosopher Paracelsus called them. The Greeks called them Nymphs, or water elemental spirits. It is said that they don't naturally have an immortal soul, but they are able to gain one by being wed to a human. That is a beautiful first-time experience that you described. I've found that they can keep up that pressure you felt indefinitely, but we almost always end up needing breaks. I know I do.

Good to know that she seems like an undine, to someone with much more experience at this than I have. That was what I originally was interested in. I remember reading a pdf a couple of years ago, that I believe you wrote, and it stuck out to me how often you used fiery imagery and metaphors when describing Catherine. So I have to ask... does sbe ever seem to be an elemental spirit to you?
I've been really hung up on the question of "what are succubi"?
I understand the concept of a succubus, but I think asking, "yeah but what are they?" has wielded a huge variation of conflicting answers. Are we even supposed to know?

Thanks for the helpful and encouraging words, from both of you.

If it's not for something important, telepathic communication works just fine. If it's more important I'd rather interpret a dream, as there's no risk of miscommunication there (only misinterpretation, which I'd like to think is less likely). I use divination like Tarot sometimes for it, though the big problem with that is that I'm the one interpreting the cards, which means I may be more likely to interpret them in favorable ways.

Generally I avoid asking 'what is a succubi' or questions like that, as I find words like succubus or undine to be human words that we attempt to apply to the spirit world. I think they carry very little weight as a 'spirit race', though I would say that if your spirit lover appears in ways that are resembling an undine, that's probably a sign of their intentions, rather than a sign they are a literal undine. So if we take the above mythology which is accurate as far as I can tell, we would assume the intentions are long term given the Undine's need for marriage. The aerial features could mean something else, or could reference the idea of a siren (as the old versions of sirens were more bird-looking), which could imply that they're a seducer or tricksy. To me, the Siren idea carries a more negative connotation with it, as something akin to a manipulator, as they're often associated with luring people into often deadly into trouble. The appearance of the parents may also imply things about her, and those things line up with this other information: mainly, that she's an initiator/kind of pushy, and that she's sort of mysterious and wispy (after all, one is a product of one's parents). Both of those combined do seem reminiscent of a manipulator/seducer/trickster sort of vibe. Such could imply negative and positive things about them. I would try to approach your interactions with them like a game, trying to pry more information out of them through your own manipulative means, whatever those may be. Such might be enjoyable for them, and may encourage them to give some further details, if we assume this information could be accurate.

Fightersword wrote: ↑Sun Mar 05, 2023 10:42 pm The aerial features could mean something else, or could reference the idea of a siren (as the old versions of sirens were more bird-looking), which could imply that they're a seducer or tricksy.

Funny that you mention this there's plenty more on this particular topic later in the journal. Good info though, I especially like the idea of sort of 'playing the game' with her. Don't know if it's possible though.

I'm suddenly realizing that I've forgotten to clarify a critical point: This is not a journal in 'real time'.
All of these entries are over a year old, I'm just copy-pasting from a Word file in my computer. It's slow going because I don't get to my main comp often, and I keep having to spiff everything up for clarity/anonymity. Most of the entries are a jumbled mess. There are probably only like 15 entries total but, it gets pretty weird. I want to share it all in it's entirety so that anyone else who experiences something like it, at least knows that they're not alone. Or maybe someone can just say 'yeah that's a thing' and let me know that I haven't gone completely nuts.
The succubus/siren/undine/rusalka/sexghost in question hasn't made herself known to me in over 6 months. I have a feeling that she's gone, but time will tell I guess. When she was still here, I felt that writing about her and about my experiences would bring her to to me. I felt like she was sitting over my shoulder as I wrote, and that writing was a way to for us connect. It was as if she could hear my writing voice better than she could hear thoughts that were aimed directly to her. Predictably, the final reason that I'm sharing this is because I want to see if it's enough to bring her back again.

It's alright, man. You said that these entries were written back in 2021 in your first post. I'll often connect with my succubus through writing. We'll do a back-and-forth conversation style. She reacts very powerfully to those exchanges. It's still up in the air whether it's her channeling to me, or she's reacting positively to my own ideas. Either way, writing helps strengthen the connection in my experience.